Some BIG stuff has been going on for me personally as I work to get my Dallas area home of 22 years, longest I have lived in any home ever, ready to sell.
You’d think I’d be excited—we’re moving toward a dream of building our own beach home on the South Puget Sound! But instead, I’ve been very emotional, stressed, and honestly, a little hard on myself.
I keep asking, What’s wrong with me? Why am I not just thrilled?
Here I am a leader and even coach people in personal empowerment and I am working HARD each day to keep myself together to just keep moving forward.
It's all feels compounded, sometimes almost to the breaking point, by the current happenings in our country (USA). It takes something for me to manage my mind from going down doomsday scenario's every day. I am guessing I am not alone.
All of this led me to do some reading up on change and specifically why is change so emotionally and mentally challenging?
What I discovered is that it's not about change, it’s all about transitions!
Turns out transitions are HARD on us humans, even when they lead to something wonderful.
Why Transitions Can Feel So Overwhelming
Here’s what I’ve discovered:
- Loss of familiarity and control – We’re wired for stability. Change disrupts routines, roles, and rhythms.
- Uncertainty and ambiguity – That “in-between” limbo? Major anxiety trigger.
- Identity shifts – Transitions challenge how we see ourselves. Even good change can shake us.
- Emotional labor – Grieving what’s ending while stepping into what’s new is no small feat.
- Biological stress response – The brain can interpret change as danger, triggering fight/flight/freeze.
- Social pressure – We’re told to “embrace change” and “bounce back” fast, which can feel invalidating.
- Lack of tools or support – Most of us were never taught how to transition well.
Sound familiar?
Enter: The Bridges Transition Model
I came across this model by William Bridges and… whoa. It gave me some peace.
It helped me see that change and transition aren’t the same thing:
“It isn't the changes that do you in, it's the transitions... Change is situational. Transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation.”
~ William Bridges
He outlines three stages:
-
Ending, Losing, Letting Go
Saying goodbye to the old—habits, roles, identities. Emotions here can range from denial to sadness to frustration. -
The Neutral Zone
The messy middle. What was is gone, what’s next isn’t clear. Confusing, but also rich with possibility and creativity. -
The New Beginning
Integration. A renewed sense of purpose, new behaviors, new identity. This is where excitement and momentum return.
Seeing where I am in this process helped me stop fighting the feelings. I don’t need to solve my way out of discomfort by changing the circumstances—I need to tend to the inner process. It’s an inside job.
How about you?
Are you going through a transition—big or small—and trying to find peace by managing the outer stuff? Maybe you’re right where you need to be.