How Modern Psychology Is Reframing “Victim”

by Anne L. Peterson, iLumn8 Founder

I say we are ready to upgrade our discourse as a society around the term victim. 

Hang with me here …

Let’s start with a quick look at the model itself as outlined by Karpman.

• Victim – Feels powerless, helpless, or oppressed. Often wonders “Why does this always happen to me”
• Persecutor – Blames, criticizes, or controls others. Comes off as angry, judgmental, or aggressive.
• Rescuer – Tries to help or “save” the victim, often without being asked.

Now, let's get straight with ourselves.

Over the years like SO many psychologically based ideas this triangle has been used in both helpful and harmful ways.

✅ Helpful, if it’s being used as a tool to identify when we’re locked into destructive relational or transactional roles—often creating drama and conflict instead of solving the real issue.

❌ Harmful, when these roles are seen as something to avoid or deny at all costs.

Some examples of how the Drama Triangle can be misused:

⚠️ Labeling others to gain power or control

People sometimes use the triangle to label or diagnose others in conflict. Instead of promoting awareness, this shuts down conversation and can make someone feel blamed or shamed. It becomes a way to invalidate emotions rather than understand them.

⚠️ Avoiding responsibility for rescuing or persecuting

Ironically, someone might use the model to avoid their own behavior. Example: A person who is rescuing in an unhealthy way might claim they’re “just coaching.” Or a persecutor might rebrand themselves as a “challenger” while still being aggressive or condescending.

This can reinforce the drama rather than reduce it—it’s like dressing the same pattern in healthier language without actually changing the behavior.

⚠️ Oversimplifying complex situations—especially trauma

Not every conflict fits neatly into this triangle. Using it rigidly can lead to:

• Oversimplifying trauma responses
• Ignoring systemic or contextual factors (like power imbalances, abuse, or inequality)
• Blaming individuals for being “in drama” when their distress is actually valid

⚠️ Gaslighting under the guise of growth

In toxic environments (like cults, dysfunctional teams, or narcissistic relationships), someone might use the model to:

• Frame legitimate concerns as “drama”
• Shut down dissent by labeling it as a victim or persecutor move
• Position themselves as the enlightened “coach” while undermining others' autonomy

All of these ways in which the drama triangle can and is often weaponized, especially against disadvantaged or marginalized people came up in the discussion. I offer for consideration that the general discourse around the identification of the role of ‘victim’ has been extremely harmful to our society as a whole. 

Why?

Because when we are not free to acknowledge that we’ve been victimized, we’re locked out of our own healing and recovery. Instead, we’re left suppressing, covering up, or at worst, denying our own experience.

We stay trapped in unhealthy relational patterns, often just switching roles within the triangle. Growth becomes about being the Rescuer or even the Persecutor—both power positions compared to the Victim. We live in denial, unable to confront our own feelings or situation. And real change? That’s impossible without honesty.

As we deepen our understanding of emotional, social, and spiritual healing, we’re learning the way out isn’t to go around or later—it’s to go through.

We’ve long known this in the realm of physical wellness: recovery is slow, difficult, and often painful—and yet it’s celebrated. So why not apply the same compassion and recognition to emotional, social, and spiritual recovery?

If we’re honest, vilifying the victim mostly serves the Persecutors (“It wasn’t me—it was you”) and the Rescuers (“Let me avoid my stuff by solving yours”). This is exactly the toxic loop Karpman identified.

As long as we continue to treat “victim” as synonymous with weakness or blame, we’re closing the door on the recovery process—and often, those trying to help are reinforcing the triangle, too.

There have been significant developments in how we understand and apply the roles in Karpman’s Drama Triangle today. Modern interpretations focus on transforming the roles to promote healthier dynamics:

💪 The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) – David Emerald reframes the roles: Victim becomes Creator, Persecutor becomes Challenger, and Rescuer becomes Coach.

🏆 The Winner’s Triangle – Acey Choy emphasizes assertiveness, vulnerability, and problem-solving.

🦋 The Transformation Triangle – Ed Gurowitz introduces a model rooted in confronting the facts (reality) and creating pathways to personal transformation.

Each of these models is built on top of Karpman’s original work. They don’t reject it—they build on it. In this author’s humble opinion, they offer ways through, not ways around.

• David Emerald shows us that over time and with healing, a Victim becomes a Creator.
• Acey Choy suggests that vulnerability and self-awareness are the keys to real change.
• Ed Gurowitz invites us to confront the facts—which, for many of us, means naming where we’ve been victimized and beginning the healing work. This also could include getting the appropriate legal and mental health support in the worst of circumstances. 

True transformation happens when we go through our feelings—not bypass them. When we acknowledge the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual impact our experiences (and our behavior) has, we make space for real healing.

Compassion, empathy, and generosity lead to better personal and societal outcomes.

The time for an upgrade in our thinking around victims has ARRIVED!.