As Pride Month continues, we're delighted to share a very personal piece from our guest writer, Goddess Guide, Tien Neo Eamas. Originally from Singapore and now living in Canada, Tien kindly offered to share his unique journey and experience with us.
Please note that Tien's writing may reflect his Singaporean roots and Canadian home, so you may notice some differences in phrasing (or spelling if you're in the US). We loved his story exactly as he wrote it, so we've left it untouched. We did, however, add some headings for easier reading. 🙂
Before I Knew What Pride Was: Coming Out in a New Country
I don't think much about what Pride is to me. So when Anne asked me to write about it, I was not clear what to say. Then after a few days of letting my past experiences come up, I realised that my engagement with Pride is quite unique.
I knew of Pride in 1990, 2 years after I came to Canada. It was around then that I started coming out as a lesbian. I am a transman, and was given the gender marker girl when I was born in Singapore in 1968. As a newcomer to Vancouver, Canada, much overwhelmed me, from the culture shock to the experience of racism, sexism and isolation. Finally naming my gayness gave me a huge sense of relief and power that I had not experienced. Being by myself in this foreign country at 18 years old was unnerving and freeing, as I was finally free from family abuse and the constant indoctrination of Christian and gendered values of my family.
I was living as a woman at that point, and the lesbian community intrigued me. It was a space where women could express themselves freely. They could dress like men and not be stuck to such gendered roles of women.
I never felt like a girl growing up, because what my parents and society expected of girl was not what I ever saw and wanted for myself. I was always just me, just Ray (my name growing up). So given that since puberty, I had been attracted to girls, the lesbian community seemed to be a good fit for me at that time of needing community and like minded folks. This was when I started going to Pride.
Pride in the 90s: Community, Colour, and the Limits of Belonging
Pride was a big party of floats, colours and music in the Gay part of Vancouver in the 90's. And it was very white and very 'gay boy'. There was lesbian representation, like the Dykes on Bikes, and other feminist groups. And I hardly ever saw myself in any of these people. In the mid 90's I discovered the Asian lesbians of Vancouver and started to feel more at home. We created our own floats for Pride, represented more people of colour, and we had our own parties. Life was good and Pride WAS a celebration for a few lovely years.
When Transition Changes Everything: Finding and Losing Community
Then I transitioned. It was 2001 and being the first Asian transman to come out in Vancouver, signified a whole new life. My Asian lesbian family disappeared quickly, as I was no longer identifying as a woman. At that point, the 2SLGBTQIA+ (see below) community was just the gay and lesbian community. Still split on the gender binary of men and women, homosexual men and homosexual women. Trans was not embraced then, unless we were in the entertainment industry as drag queens.
My Asian lesbian family was never unkind, they just did not know what to do with me. And now in hindsight, as many of them have now come out as non binary, a few have also transitioned, I can acknowledge how my own transition might have been challenging for many.
Pride in the 90's was not an all inclusive space for the trans folks. Even the queer community had our own growth and acceptance to go through as the construct of gender would continue to be challenged over the coming decades.
So for a good 15 years, I did not go to any Pride events. I did not really associate with gay people anymore, as I ventured into a whole new world of 'straight, cis' living, now living as a man. I was not out as trans, to the many new people I met in my new life. And also because I was rather non binary presenting, people did not know how to be with me. I experienced a huge amount of humiliation and oppressive, discriminatory treatment. I fell into about a decade of darkness. Pride was not present.
Coming Home to Yourself: A Spiritual Journey Back to Pride
Around 2013, after my deep spiritual journey of coming home to me, the true self me, the soul being, regardless of gender identity or biology, I returned to the gay scene that was now becoming the lgbt (lesbian gay bisexual transgendered) scene. I came out publicly in 2015 to the world in a film that was released worldwide, and my business colleagues, friends and others who never knew I was trans, and or never knew me before when I was a woman, got a nice little shock. I was proud of my courage and what I knew now to share boldly and clearly about discovering our pride and joy within and then be able to share that with others for the expansion of humankind.
My experience being of colour, with no family support added to my extreme isolation and the discrimination I received for decades. And as cliched as it is, all the suffering I endured at the hands of the haters, the ignorant, the system and my family, was all part of this amazing journey that has me now stand clearly, to shine, and show by example what living in self love and honour, living in faith, with true authenticity, is possible for all human beings, especially for my trans and non binary siblings.
How Pride Has Evolved — and What It Means for All of Us Now
Pride continues to evolve. The community expanded into 2SLGBTQIA+ around 2015, and as the youth grew up, many folks began to express their genders beyond the binary of man and woman, and constructs of sexuality then altered. I even surprised myself as my sexuality altered when I first began transitioning. It amazes me as I witness this evolution of humankind all the time, what we are capable of, when we continue to live freer and freer, to discover ourselves outside of the constructs that were put on us.
Pride at this point has become much more mainstream and now with much participation from businesses and large corporations. It of course still is a big side show for the gawkers and curious, but even more so, Pride is a mainstream event that families come to now. The rated PG half naked boys on floats may not be as visible due to the family friendly nature of Pride now, so we continue to create more and more spaces for all of us to celebrate, represent and be in community.
I now participate in Pride as an artist, whether selling my work, speaking and or performing. Interacting with the queer community is not out of the ordinary for me, so Pride in itself holds no special value for me. AND it continues to be a vital event as it makes gender diversity, and freedom in sexual expression and choices visible for all, so that our youth and all others are aware that we have choices and can discover who we really are, at any point in our lives, in safer, more joyful and celebratory spaces.
~Tien
What Does 2SLGBTQIA+ Actually Stand For?
2S — Two-Spirit - Refers to a term used by some Indigenous North American/Native American/First Nations people to describe individuals who embody both masculine and feminine spirits, or who hold specific gender and spiritual roles in their cultures. The '2S' is placed at the front to honor Indigenous peoples and perspectives.
L — Lesbian
G — Gay
B — Bisexual
T — Transgender
Q — Queer (or sometimes Questioning)
I — Intersex
A — Asexual (sometimes also Agender or Allies)
+ — The plus sign represents additional identities and orientations not explicitly listed (e.g., pansexual, non-binary, aromantic, etc.).
FAQ's
Pride Month holds a complex and deeply personal meaning for trans people. While Pride celebrates the full spectrum of LGBTQ+ identity, transgender individuals have not always felt welcomed within the community itself — as Tien's story shows. For many trans people, Pride represents a long journey toward visibility, self-acceptance, and belonging, often fought for in the face of rejection from multiple directions.
The '2S' — standing for Two-Spirit — is placed at the front of the acronym to honor the Indigenous peoples of North America whose cultures recognized gender diversity long before Western terminology existed. It is an act of respect and acknowledgment of Indigenous traditions and leadership within the broader community.
Pride has shifted dramatically from its origins. In Vancouver in the 1990s, it was primarily a celebration within gay and lesbian communities, with limited representation for trans people and people of colour. By the 2010s, the community expanded into the 2SLGBTQIA+ acronym, and Pride events became more mainstream, family-friendly, and inclusive. Today, Pride is both a celebration and a continuing call for visibility and safety for all gender-diverse people.
Living authentically as a trans person often means navigating the tension between how you know yourself to be and how the world sees you — sometimes across decades. For Tien, true authenticity came after a deep spiritual journey that reconnected him to his core identity beyond gender labels or the expectations of any community. Authentic living, as Tien describes it, is about coming home to the self that has always been there.
Race and cultural background profoundly shape how people navigate LGBTQ+ identity. Tien's experience as an Asian immigrant in Canada — dealing with racism, cultural isolation, and family estrangement — adds layers that are not always reflected in mainstream Pride spaces. Finding community within the Asian LGBTQ+ network was a pivotal moment in his sense of belonging. This is why representation across race, culture, and gender identity within Pride matters so much.